Melrose Place - Murder solved and I'm so glad I don't watch anymore

A little while back, I was watching the new Melrose Place, ever week wondering if the next would be my last. Between Katie Cassidy as Ella, Stephanie Jacobsen as Lauren, and Shaun Sipos as David, someone usually gave me something that got me to come back. Then, the week of Heather Locklear's much advertised return, I simply didn't bother to turn it on.

While Melrose Place was never so bad that I turned it off mid episode or vowed at the end of one to never watch again, it still stopped being enough to drag me back. With so many good shows on, why would I continue to suffer through it.

That said, I'll still give the show one final rant, and again hope that it gets cancelled so that the find actors I mentioned above (And I am NOT talking about Locklear) can get rolls on shows I want to watch. Plus, is Victor Webster's guest spot as Caleb over? Because if they got rid of him in favour of Locklear, that was ludicrous.

The murder mystery is finally solved, and no, the murderer was neither Ashlee Simpson-Wentz's insane Violet or Colin Egglesfield useless Auggie. What is the point of having 2 main characters that no one liked leave the show without putting the blame on one of them for the murder? Instead, it turned out that Michael (Thomas Calabro)'s wife Vanessa (Brooke Burns) killed Sidney (Laura Leighton) when she learned of the affair. Apparently she was also banging David...so everyone who wants Michael also wants his son even though the two are nothing alike?

My biggest issue with that is that it could only have remotely begun to emerge since I quit watching - did they really have no clue from the beginning who the murderer was? And if that was the case, why did they pick an unimportant secondary character when either Violet or Auggie would have been a much better fit? Whatever, I'm not watching anymore so how much can I really care?

And so, for those of you who like this ridiculous drama, keep a watching; as for me, if I need this kind of perpetual ridiculousness in my life, either I'll keep watching Stargate Universe (grrr) or I'll tune back into General Hospital before it gets cancelled like Guiding Lights and As the World Turns. (That's right, As the World Turns will be leaving the air next September).

Melrose Place - Ocean, S01E09

Things I liked this week.

Victor Webster, Katie Cassidy, Stephanie Jacobsen and Shaun Sipos continue to demonstrate that they actually have quality talent and should be moved to other shows that people might actually want to watch.

David (Sipos)'s attachment to his younger brother was adorable, while his dad and step-mom were ridiculous about the child getting hurt.

Auggie (Colin Egglesfield) did not make an appearance.

Things I didn't like.

I want to stab Riley (Jessica Lucas) in the face. Not the portrayer...I'm not sure if she has talent, the character pisses me off so much, I don't know if it's the writing or the acting, but Riley the character should be stabbed in the face.

This is the last episode before the return of Heather Lochlear. If I wasn't interested or impressed this week, how will I survive this week.

The triviality of the entire thing. Sign. Le sigh. Sigh.

Only 4 more episodes before we discover who killed Sidney. Wouldn't it be nice is someone went on a murder spree and killed the entire cast so we could get the good actors on other shows? Please please?

Melrose Place - Gower, S01E08

UGH...And I committed last week to watch until Ashley Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield left...well folks, we'll see, cause if I hadn't decided that was the end date, this episode would have been...well...Ella (Katie Cassidy) and Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) closed the episode with a touching and honest moment between them. Shows that when the two truly talented actors on the show play off each other, it can, in fact, go well.

We spent most of the episode in the drama of Jonah (Michael Rady) and Riley (Jessica Lucas)'s relationship issues. Who the hell cares. They were the couple who started the show by getting engaged, it's not like they are going to last, they're not even going to make it to the wedding night at this rate. And again, I really don't care.

Lauren even got a little eye-rolly when she turned down Ella's offer of $50 000 to fake some medical documents and cover up a drug story on one of Ella's clients. Lauren can compromise her body, but not her medical ethics. And it's sort of a good thing; that would have been a boring end to the hooker story line.

Finally, Auggie (Egglesfield) got his ass fired from Coles, and finally took Violet (Simpson-Wentz)'s hint and bedded her...well, it was on his living room floor.

So, yeah, bad episode really. Cancel it so that Katie Cassidy and Stephanie Jacobsen can go act on something worth while.

Melrose Place - Windsor, S01E07

Before I get into what I thought about Tuesday's episode of Melrose Place, there is some news.

1. Melrose Place has been picked up for an additional 5 episodes. Though this is not the full pick up of a back 9, it is still a surprise giving the ratings, but that may have to do with 2 & 3.

2. Heather Locklear is coming back, and not as a guest. Plots will revolve around her as producers hope that she will help the ratings pick up. I may not be able to watch once she arrives, since I have a passionate dislike of her.

3. Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield, who play Violet and Auggie, will be leaving the show. I am disappointed Violet is going, because she was fantastic and completely insane, but I'm glad that Egglesfield is out. He may be attractive, but he is the worst actor on television at the moment.

4. By December, the murder mystery will be resolved, and Melrose Place will supposedly become more fun. Will I stick around to see it? I don't know.

I wish that they were getting rid of Riley rather than Violet. It's not that Jessica Lucas, her portrayer, is particularly untalented, but the character just grates on my every nerve. The whole nonsense of her model shot and her posing, and Jo (Daphne Zuniga from the original series)'s yelling at her was equally useless. Thank god Katie Cassidy's Ella was in those scenes to make them tolerable, though I would have rather seen her do something more interesting.

Oh, and Jonah (Michael Rady) and Riley got in another fight, and Jonah found out from Auggie that he and Riley had kissed, so he got pissed off and went to meet up with a hot producer chick. Cause any of us would believe Jonah to be a cheater (well, it was only a business meeting over drinks).

And while we didn't get enough of crazy Violet and too damn much of Auggie, Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) and David (Shaun Sipos) were full of sexual tension as Lauren discovered that David is a thief and got all moral on him about it. Right, cause when you are a wh*re, you are only victimizing yourself, so it's okay. Unlike stealing criminals' money.

Not the best episode yet...but I guess I'll stick around until the murder is solved and then pray the show gets cancelled to free up the talented actors for better gigs.

What are your thoughts?

Melrose Place - Shoreline, S01E06

Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) is just about the worst call girl ever. She really has to learn to stop talking back or behaving uncomfortably. You have decided to sleep around for money, so stop acting like you're too proud to do it. Pride gets checked at the door, though maybe if she had more confidence, she'd do better. Ah well, it's not the worst plot ever.

That, instead, would be the idea the "normal" Riley (Jessica Lucas) was asked by a huge fashion designer to be the face of his new campaign because she's not a model. Well I'm not sure if she has the height for it, but there are very few 1st grade teachers who have bodies like that. Like we needed another "normal" girl played by a very attractive actor getting discovered. I'd wonder where this plot is going, but I don't really care. That may be because I don't like Riley.

And we SO did not get enough Ella (Katie Cassidy) time, though her conversations with her boss, Caleb (Victor Webster), get more and more fun. Almost like they might get along as colleagues. They're both starting to respect the other's ability to get the job done.

Finally, we get to the big plot of the episode. Michael Mancini (Thomas Calabro) got suckered by Violet (Ashley Simpson-Wentz). She seduced him, slept with him, videotaped the whole thing, and is now out for revenge in the name of her late mother who refused to acknowledge her...though I bet that Violet actually believes her own story that Sydney was thrilled to find her again.

Oh Soap Operas....I mean, oh nighttime dramas that are essentially soap operas only with slightly fewer characters and only an hour a week instead of 5.

Melrose Place - Canon, S01E05

Melrose Place has succeeded in pulling itself away from the dangers of not being watched by me. It is lucky, because as a Tuesday night show it does not have any other competition and therefore can stay on the roster. It is also lucky that I'm the kind of girl who actually has enjoyed soaps in the past (I used to watch General Hospital).

No, it will never be great television, but the characters are a lot of fun, and between Ella (Katie Cassidy), Violet (Ashley Simpson-Wentz), David (Shaun Sipos) and Lauren (Stephanie Jacobsen) I am interested enough to keep watching.

Violet is a terrific psycho. She is so crazy. When she tells Ella of her financial problems, Ella tells her to simply decide what she wants and then get it. To a normal person, that advice would mean work hard and take advantage of every opportunity. Violet took the advice a little too literally. She decided that she wanted to become a bartender, but since the restaurant she and Auggie (Colin Egglesfield) work for was not in need of bartenders, she put $700 from the cash in one of the bartender's purses and then made sure Auggie found it. Having someone insane on the show does make it worth my time.

Katie Cassidy, as Ella, continues to be my main draw. A lot of the evidence is beginning to make her look guilty, which means of course that she did not do it. Instead, she is trying to cover up the fact that she hired a PI to break into Sydney's apartment and take back all the info Sydney was using to ruin Ella's life.

Again, it's her ability to go from completely competent when anyone is looking to vulnerable the minute she is alone. She is working everyone she knows to be a great success, but she is fully aware that she is not untouchable and always in real danger.

She and David continue to grow on me and to people who use the people around them, and therefore truly have the ability to understand one another.

Finally Lauren has signed up to be a call girl. Getting paid $750 an hour to start is not a bad deal, and she should have her med school debt paid off in no time, but we will see how well it works. It won't be long before the hours she is asked to work interfere not only with her leisure time but also the hours she ought to be at the hospital. And how long before someone figures out that she's going somewhere and getting money?

Do you have a show that you watch which is purely candy like this one?

Melrose Place - Vine, S01E04

Melrose Place will stay on the roster another week...but don't think it's in the clear. If it annoys or simply becomes to much work, I won't bother. But for now, I will continue to watch and review.

The show earned this extension by finally making me believe in Riley and Jonah's relationship. For once, they didn't fight and make up, instead they acted like a real couple. Invited to a movie premiere directed by Jonah's film school buddy, Riley showed me a side that I could actually like. She worked the room and made connections with important producers, which will hopefully lead to a break for Jonah. That is what a fiancee is supposed to be like. I wish the writers had started the couple more like this because if they keep it up, I may actually be sad when they break up. I may still be around to watch it.

Also, I still love Katie Cassidy's Ella. She has such spunk and fire, and yet she does not have control of every room she walks into. She tries and she rarely gives up power, but she can lose. It made it all the more worthwhile when she stood up to Jane to give her actor client the dress she wanted. She felt cornered, she wanted to do what was going to help her, but she chose to be a publicist first.

Plus, then we got a pretty awesome scene between David and Ella. Shaun Sipos has really grown on me, I guess he just had a bad week with the pilot because I don't find his acting attrocious anymore. He and Cassidy work very well together, their characters being cut from the same cloth and, therefore, having an understanding of the internal machinations of the other.

I also enjoy following Lauren's decent. I still haven't felt that she really tried any other option to get money, but at least this will be a plot that's going to last a long time. Might even continue to affect her until the end of the series, with ex-john's appearing at the hospital and continually threatening whatever sense of normalcy she acquires.

And crazy Violet is just getting more and more insane, which is entertaining to say the least.

So, if it continues to deliver this level of mediocrity, I'll stick around another week. Will you?

Melrose Place...third time is still not exactly the charm

So we are in our third week of Melrose Place, and no, it has not yet hit its stride. Instead, it is stumbling along, giving me more to whine about than to praise. Perhaps more so this week as Ella, Lauren and Violet had less screen time and I find them to more interesting residents.

Ratings for the show have not been great, either, and in a bid to attract more viewers, particularly fans of the first incarnation of the show, Heather Locklear will be guest starring sometime this season. Now considering that I actually really really really strongly dislike Heather Locklear...well it doesn't make me really want to watch more. I mean, honestly, she completely ruined Spin City. It was barely watchable even though Michael J Fox was still on it her first season.

Then again, 90210 started off with fairly weak ratings last year, and was even cancelled in Australia, but continues to be on television. So I suppose that means there is hope for this revamped new version of another 90s classic.

But we'll just focus on episode 3 for the moment. Riley, that silly little twit, might have agreed to marry Jonah, but she hasn't told anyone about it. Not her parents, not her friends, not Facebook. So she and Jonah start the episode with another fight. Don't worry, just like in the previous two episodes, they've resolved their issues by the end...well except Riley didn't mention that she got drunk and kissed Augie, but really, who cares? The couple is such a disaster, you aren't hoping for them to break up or to end up with anyone else since they're clearly not capable of being self aware. And if you aren't aware of what's going on in your own head...well...it doesn't make the best foundation is all I'm saying.

Not only is Jonah useless in his romantic life, but the boy has no idea what he wants to be. I mean, he thinks he wants to direct movies, but he doesn't seem to know what that entails. How this boy managed to get through a film school of any kind and retain his naivety on the subject, I cannot explain. Oh, do your lead is a diva and carries a gun...well, sure, she's crazy but who did you expect to meet in the business? Did you think it was all fun and no placating of self-important talentless bimbos? Wrong industry.

There is one thing I will say - they've changed the style of the flashbacks and it is much improved. There are flashing images, some from the present, other's from the past, and then instead of that grainy garbage, the film feels just a little too bright, a little overexposed. It is tolerable. Though, I gotta say I'm glad Sidney is dead...again...

So, we will see whether or not I bother to watch again next week. Maybe I'll get lucky, the show will get cancelled and they'll put Katie Cassidy on a much better show?

Melrose Place, Second look

Well, if there's one thing about Melrose Place, it's that it gives me a lot to write about. Was it better than last week? I think it hit about the same level of mediocrity, with some especially fun segments, and some really really bad fashion.

The segment before the first commercial was utterly uninteresting. Nothing happened. I might have turned it off then without having a clue of the difficulties and drama any of the characters would face during the episode.

As always, Katie Cassidy as Ella delivered a performance worthy of my tuning in. Her complication? Her office is downsizing and she's being let go. Or at least, that's what her new boss (played by the ever-so-handsome Victor Webster*) has planned, but she convinces him to give her the weekend to land a big client and save her job. She delivers this with perfect confidence, but as she leaves her office, that shadow of doubt crosses her face. From the start, Ella personality has levels, and we get to see that. I will be moved when something happens to make her cry, because it is so unlike her, but I will believe it.

David, the art thief who hands over priceless stolen paintings in restaurants (really believable, guys), is going to a party to steal a watch, and Ella coerces him to take her with him. He steals a one-of-a-kind watch, while she, dressed in the most awful white bag dress imaginable, convinces her target star he's over exposed (by getting a picture of him with his pants down). The highlight of the party? When they run into Dr. Lauren out with her latest John, Toby's friend Rick (Niall Matter*). Yup, Lauren, convinced by Ella to do whatever she has to to become a doctor (a lovely scene showing the depth of friendship between the two flatmates), is selling herself for $5000 a pop.

At the end of the episode, Rick asks if he can take Lauren out on a real date, but she just wants her money. She still needs $20 000 by the end of the semester or she's out on her ear. Though really, Rick was hot and rich...she could have at least made him a deal for the rest of the money and seen how it went.

At the end of the episode, ballsy Ella's kept her job.

Ashley Simpson-Wentz got to show us her crazy side this week. If it wasn't obvious last week from the fact she stole Sidney's photo of the memorial shrine, Violet's Sydney's daughter. And she's slightly insane...which she clearly got from her mom. Her wild eyes and intensity worked for those moments, but the rest was blah! She has no fashion sense, and when Ella dressed her up so she could get a job as the hostess at Augie's work, well I think with that outfit, she could make a lot of money working on the corner. After all, she approves of the way Lauren's making her dough. It's quite bizarre how the rest of the people living at Melrose Place have befriended her so quickly. I'd love to live in a complex where everyone is my friend - do those really exits? And how did Violet get such a nice place without a background check?

The worst part of the show is those flashback scenes. Not only are they the most cheesy slightly grainy and colour saturated segments, but no one can act in them. Is that what Laura Leighton brings out in other actors? And worse, the reveals are obvious and forced. Have they ever heard of subtlety. Sure, smack us over the head with all the problems, tell us what they are and how everything went down, don't let us discover over time and speculate about anything. Heck, might as well tell us who killed Sydney right now.

Finally, I suppose I should mention Jonah and Riley, our engaged couple. Well they are doomed. No trust and lots of anger. Riley, of course, has issues with Ella, and by being upset with Jonah over it when he is trustworthy is just going to put a wedge between them. Then Jonah gets upset because Riley and Augie talked for 37minutes and 23 seconds (according to the security camera he just installed). Instead of realizing how cute his jealousy was, when he clearly watched the tape and saw that nothing inappropriate happened, Riley gets pissed off. Sure by the end of the episode they resolve everything, but those two have issues I'm not even sure the writers know about.

Oh, and Augie can't act.

So that was this week's Melrose Place...we'll see what I'm doing next Tuesday night.

Melrose Place Pilot

Okay, so I know some of you are thinking Melrose Place? Are you kidding, Danielle? Why would you watch that? I mean, so what if it's about a bunch of 20something year olds trying to start their lives (just like you), and so what if there's a murder mystery to be solved (which are always good), it's Melrose Place. And I say to you, you're right. I had NO intention to watch this show. None. Was not interested.

What changed my mind? More like who changed my mind. Katie Cassidy, Season 3's Ruby on Supernatural and Trish on Harper's Island. If you liked her as a bad ass, spunky demon, (and you haven't seen Harper's Island) you'll be surprised that as Trish she was sweet and naive and, while she could hold her own, still liked a little taking care of. So when I found out she was on Melrose Place, well it earned it's spot on my premiere list.

So now I'm drinking some hard lemonade, and enjoying the show.

Enjoying the show? I'm not exactly certain. Will I watch it again next week? Probably.

First things first, Shaun Sipos, who portrays David, is a terrible, terrible, terrible actor. I know tons of guys who can act and are better looking, so please, please have him improve. I really hope he's the killer just so we can get rid of him at the end of the season, but how many episodes are we going to have to suffer through him before that happens?

Also, who tells strangers that they used to be in AA in their first conversation? Cause Auggie, played by Colin Egglesfield, did...but he's cute enough to make up for the not-exactly-stellar writing.

And Jonah refused to take a $100 000 deal to make his movie because he saw a producer making out with his daughter's under age best friend...are you planning to tell someone about it? It doesn't look that way, and yet he's not taking advantage of the offer that he didn't force the guy to make. Oh, you don't want to become famous *that* way, well guess what, buddy, it's never going to happen then. But at least he's a sweetie, and a dork. Meanwhile his girlfriend took the whole episode to accept his marriage proposal because he plays with lego. Honey, he's male! Any guy who did put it away can't wait to have kids just so he's got an excuse.

So you are probably wondering what I did like about the show. That's easy. Katie Cassidy, who's Ella was amazing! Full of attitude and I love it. Of course, she really has feelings deep inside somewhere, but she'll never let you know it. Stephanie Jacobsen, as Lauren the broke doctor, also makes her presence felt on screen. Her big decision of the episode - to sleep with a guy she wanted to sleep with anyways for $5000. That is a tough decision for someone in so much debt.

What do I foresee? Well the plot of the first season is likely going to revolve around the murder. Who did it? My thoughts - Ella? Far too obvious. Not only did she use David to give herself an alibi, she had a pretty good reason to want Sidney dead. And she'd have the balls to do it. Besides, there's no way Katie Cassidy is a one season chick. I expect they haven't actually picked the killer yet and are waiting to see who we hate so they have an easy exit strategy.

David? I can only hope. He was with her the night she died, and blacked out. Auggie? Well he did burn some blood covered clothes...but he's hot (at least comparatively). Jonah and Riley would have had to do it as a couple, since they sleep in the same bed, but maybe we'll learn that one is a heavy sleeper. Lauren was at the hospital, but could have done it just as she got home. We don't really have a motive for her yet. Violet clearly has some sort of involvement or issues, but we haven't got into them yet, and David's dad...well that would just be boring. Sure, pick the guy who's older and apart.

What do you think? Worth watching until next week? And who do you think the killer is?

I finally figured out my Star Count. Adam Kaufman (II), who is not even credited as Toby $5000 on IMDB, gets on the count.